RIP, Mom
The call on my cell phone dragged me away from a long goodbye in the first of a day's business meetings in Middle Georgia. "You must come immediately, your mother has stopped breathing." And so she had. Dead, after 72 years, of an embolism or heart attack, suffered during a nap after a physical therapy session in the rehabilitation facility she was not destined to leave. The facility honored the Do Not Resuscitate order we had posted, and they let her go. The end, after so many years of health tribulations, came suddenly and peacefully in a nap.
Mothers are loving, overbearing, nurturing, maddening and all that. John Lennon covered the dynamic pretty well, but so has Velociman from the different perspective. There's no greater challenge than raising children, especially when they grow up and decide they know better. But when your Mom goes, no matter where your Mother Dynamic lies, it's like a punch in the gut.
I returned to ATL, made my way to her deathbed, stroked her cooling forehead and wished her goodbye. She's been cremated and we will have brief memorials here in town and later in the Appalachian mountain town she grew up in. I expect my grief to come out in different ways between now and then but for now I'm just keepin' on.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom Rob.
Posted by: Dave | July 08, 2004 at 11:58 PM
The dynamic between mother and child is beautiful, challanging, entertaining and ultimately the toughest joh you will ever love.
I don't think I ever began to appreciate it until we were so blessed almost 5 years ago.
The role between inlaws is well, legendary.
My mother-in-law and I had our difficulties which given the fact that both of us are rather headstrong is no surprise.
On the other hand, she raised a kind, thoughtful, loving man who I am proud to call my husband and the father of our daughter.
My MIL was very generous and loved to give gifts, even if some were a little odd. I learned the phrases "La tea da" and "bless his heart" from her amongst other things. Despite what many people think, living in NYC for 32 years does not teach you everything you need to know about life.
I learned a lot from her and the bottom line is I will miss her.
Posted by: | July 09, 2004 at 06:30 AM
Rob - we're thinking of you at this sad time. Maedelle was a real character, and I'll long remember whatever Thanksgiving it was we spent together and her insistence on calling me "Jacqueline". I really don't let anyone do that, so it's a special memory for me. Thanks for your thoughts on being a Mom, we can only do our best and judging by you, Maedelle did a-okay. Love us all
Posted by: Jackie | July 09, 2004 at 09:15 AM
Boy, I wish there were something I could say to help, but no one else can stand in those shoes for you.
The guilt, recriminations, love and anger are all a part of it.
But think about all those poor people who weren't blessed with a Mom like yours ...
Posted by: jack straw | July 09, 2004 at 10:39 PM
Lord, Rob, what I would give to wear those shoes for you right now. We go back a couple of decades, my friend, and yet I feel helpless for you now. Think of a life well lived, fulfilled. I am so sorry for you, in the good sense of sorrow: not loss, but resignation, and, hopefully, awakening. Your Mom certainly lives on in your glorious daughter. God Bless, my Friend.
Posted by: Velociman | July 09, 2004 at 11:19 PM
My condolences, Rob. No words of wisdom--just remember the love.
Posted by: david | July 10, 2004 at 12:47 AM
Jees, man. Our thoughts to you. Keep a happy thought.
Posted by: og | July 10, 2004 at 01:03 AM
I'm so sorry, Rob. My heart goes out to you!
Posted by: Da Goddess | July 10, 2004 at 01:51 AM
..I was at Father's deathbed when he departed... I closed his eyes... later on, the Cousins, Uncles, and Friends helped me dig his grave... that was three years ago, Rob... still feels like yesterday sometimes... I wish all the best for you and your family... I am sorry for your loss..
Posted by: Eric | July 10, 2004 at 07:26 AM
Hang in there, Though I have often wished for it, I do not look forward to the day Moo Moo stops sticking her nose in my underwear drawer. Best to you and yours.
Posted by: bitterman | July 10, 2004 at 10:25 PM
I am so sorry, Rob. We are just never old enough to lose our mothers. Our mom, too, had 72 wonderful years. We are thinking of you, your wife and your little rosebud. It DOES get easier. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Posted by: Belinda | July 12, 2004 at 10:27 AM
Sorry to hear about your Mom, Rob. Maybe one day in the near future I'll get the chance to tell you in person. Take care.
Posted by: Ralph | July 13, 2004 at 06:26 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Words escape me.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Posted by: Gina | July 13, 2004 at 11:41 PM
So sorry to hear the news. Though I haven't see her in years, I do remember her so well...particularly from the old days when we hung out at the apartment off LaVista Rd. She was always so nice to me even when we were doin stupid stuff parents don't approve of. Being a father now I don't know how she put up with it. She was such a pleasant person. One that will be missed, but know I'll keep mostly fond memories of Maedelle. She will be in my and my families prayers.
Hang in there dude.
Posted by: sticks | July 14, 2004 at 05:30 PM
My condolences. Moms are the best. They brought us into this world, and it hurts for anyone to lose their mother.
Posted by: sugarmama | July 16, 2004 at 11:10 AM
Mere words are so completely inadequate at times like this. My sincerest condolences to you and your family in your loss.
Jim
Sloop New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim | July 16, 2004 at 10:48 PM